A couple of days ago, I sent a reminder about a forthcoming test to my first-year students, and one of my colleagues (jokingly) suggested that it should have been a 'gentle reminder' that I sent.
Indeed, in Brunei and Singapore we are often sent 'gentle reminders', and the use of the pre-modifying adjective 'gentle' is intended to soften the message, to make it more friendly and polite. So it may be true that my students would have expected a 'gentle reminder' rather than just a reminder.
The problem with this is that, in the UK, a 'gentle reminder' is regarded as threatening, suggesting that the sender is really rather annoyed about something. It is a bit like the phrases 'It would be appreciated if ...' and 'Kindly be informed that ...', both of which are common in Brunei and Singapore but both of which carry an officious, legalistic tone in the UK, something that is not at all friendly.
This illustrates that we should all be sensitive to local norms of language usage. Bruneians should be aware that a 'gentle reminder' seems to some people to carry a threatening tone; and expatriates living in Brunei should recognise that a 'gentle reminder' here is intended as polite and friendly.
Given that I am dealing with a Bruneian audience, perhaps I should indeed have sent a 'gentle reminder'.
Robert's Rules of Haka
22 hours ago
